Nighttime Personalities Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Immigration Program

TV's top entertainers spent the broadcast mocking ex-President Donald Trump's recently launched visa program, labeled the "golden visa," characterizing it as a blatant pay-to-play system for the rich.

Stephen Colbert's Sarcastic Take

Starting his show, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic Christmas song targeting the commander-in-chief. "He is making a list, reviewing it twice, before handing that list to the people at ICE," he crooned. "Donald Trump ... destroys everything he touches."

The subject was the new initiative that allows international nationals to buy U.S. legal status for the price of a million dollars, with a "platinum" option for five million. An official page pledges processing "faster than ever."

"One thought for you to wealthy immigrants: prior to you fork over the cash, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He explained that the program is also meant to "squeeze cash" from firms looking to hire foreign workers, with significant fees. "That is a lot of fees, but if you register, you additionally get two free nights at a hotel of your choosing – if it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he continued.

"The most thorough screening the U.S. government has ever done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these people completely are eligible to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"It's a card that will let wealthy foreigners to live here," he stated. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal visitor status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one major crime of your selection."

"It might be time to revise that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your huddled masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel mocked the brevity of the form, saying it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Exactly, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "It's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Grocery Struggles

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's slipping approval numbers amid economic anxiety. "People gave Donald Trump a second term since they were upset about the economy," he noted.

Recently, in a effort to address cost of living, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a selection of food items, and reacted strangely to boxes of cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a long time."

"He is so incredibly weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by targeting conservative news coverage of Trump's economic record. "Perhaps rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy like the one FIFA did," he joked.