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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?